Tuesday, April 14, 2015

I'm struggling

Today I am struggling. I feel like I am a hamster in a wheel. I feel like I just cannot win and I am far from God. I feel like all I want to do is crawl back into bed and give up for the day. I feel like I'm being attacked from all sides. I feel like I'm a failure and I'll never succeed.
 Lately, if you've been following me, you know I've been saying we have some big family decisions coming up. The reason is because Brian is currently looking for a job. His contract is up on September 30th. We really don't know what we are going to do or where we will end up.
 I don't want to move. I don't want to leave my friends and the area we are living in. I love our church. I feel like we just started to get our feet under ourselves her and now this. I feel like the carpet has been pulled from underneath us.
But then I cling to the truth of God. Right now I know we are under attack. I know these thoughts above aren't from God but from the devil. I know God isn't tempting me but the devil is!
Today I get to go to Bible Basics and I'm leading it. A few months ago when I was trying to choose a book of the bible to study the book I kept coming back to was James. God knew I was going to need the book of James to go through this trial. He knew what I needed before it happened. It has already helped me so much.
So today I am going to live fearless. I am going to get rid of all my fears and thoughts of failure and rejection and hold on what is true, right and pure. God loves me and he will help me through this. We will persevere and we will get through this. I'm so lucky I have Brian and we have each other and our God.

I hope everyone has a blessed day.

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